Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
