real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
