Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
