A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
