Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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