I need help removing her.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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