I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
