Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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