I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
