So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
