grandma shit on top of the toilet
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
