I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
