I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Acid is not a monday night drug
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
