I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
