drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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