last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
