At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
How does one acquire holy water?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
