So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
