speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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