I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
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i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
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The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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