i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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