I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
