Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
