like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
