A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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