I don't usually arrange sex via text message
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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