just come out here and I will go home with you...
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
4 words: hood of his car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize