What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
