so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
