So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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