had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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