Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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