My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
