Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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