mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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