therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
