Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
