I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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