please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
