Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
