my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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