Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
