Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
