i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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