We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
