i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
