downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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