What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
