Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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