I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
why do cheetos always look like penises
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
