So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
