Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
