Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
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I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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