i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize