She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Dick very happy bro
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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