awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
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I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
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You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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