i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
