dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
