I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
this will be a night to untag.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
