there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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